PRAISING YOUR CHILDREN

    

    There have been several great principles that I have learned during my class at Brigham Young University Idaho for the class I have been taking called "Parenting Skills". I will discuss in three blog posts the principles that mean the most to me. In this first post, I will discuss praising your children. 

There are three types of praises:

1.    Descriptive Praise

2.    Appreciate Praise

3.    Evaluative Praise

 Descriptive Praise

Descriptive praise is what makes your child feel good inside. The praises are free from evaluation, focus on accomplishments, your observations, and reinforce behavior. 

The website "reachformontessori.com" has a great post on What is Effective Praise.  This site gives great information on words to use for effective phrases using descriptive words.

Here is a list of 30 ways to praise! Use one praise a day to help encourage your children. 

1. Great job!

2. That’s awesome.
3. What a good idea.
4. You did it!
5. I can tell you’re trying hard.
6. Thanks for your help.
7. I appreciate it when you listen.
8. Thank you for following directions.
9. I appreciate your cooperation.
10. You’re being really kind to your friends.
11. Thank you for turning off the TV right away.
12. I can see how much effort you’re putting into that.
13. You handled that problem really well.
14. Thanks for putting your things away.
15. I like how you’re sharing with each other.
16. You figured it out by yourself. Nice work.
17. That picture/story is so creative.
18. Good job getting ready on time this morning.
19. Thank you for being patient at the store.
20. I’m glad you told me how you’re feeling.
21. I’m impressed that you keep trying without giving up.
22. That’s a good suggestion for a family rule.
23. Thank you for remembering to do your chores.
24. I like how you’re using your indoor voice.
25. You’ve gone to bed on time 3 days this week. Keep it up!
26. Thanks for setting the table for the family.
27. Good job putting everything in your backpack by yourself.
28. That was a mature decision to do your homework before playing video games.
29. I appreciate your positive attitude.
30. I love you just the way you are.

Source from Calparents.org

Appreciative Praise

Showing appreciative praise is so important to children. This helps your child to understand how behavior affects others. Remember to be sincere and be specific. Children need to know that what you are saying is true.  The following site has a great list of praises to show appreciation to your children. 

relaxkids.com

50 ways to praise your child

1. I like the way you…

2. I admired the way you…

3. Do you know how important you are to me?

4. I could really see how much you were trying

5. It’s fun playing with you

6. I care so much about you

7. I feel so proud of you when you…

8. You really showed how talented you are when you..

9. I am so excited that you…

10. You can really feel proud of yourself because ..

11. You‚ are a real winner!

12. You are a real friend – look at how you…

13. That is amazing! Well done!

14. I love you because…

15. I trust you to…

16. You are a real joy

17. You are a real good friend

18. Congratulations on the way you…

19. Thank you for…

20. I can see how hard you worked on that – well done!

21. You have a lovely singing voice

22. I can really see that you are improving

23. You are precious

24. You are so important

25. You are unique

26. What an imagination!

27. You are so caring

28. You make me smile

29. You have a special talent for…

30. You have a brilliant smile

31. You are so clever

32. You are so creative

33. That is fantastic – look at how you made…

34. I love being with you

35. You are a star!

36. You look fantastic today

37. You look great in that

38. You are really brilliant

39. You are beautiful

40. Wow that is fantastic

41. You are so special

42. That is excellent

43. That is really great

44. Well Done

45. I knew you could do it

46. You are a real superstar

47. You are really smart

48. That is magnificent

49. You are Spectacular

50. Well done you! Take action today, praise, praise, praise, and watch your child blossom and grow in happiness.

Evaluative Praise

Evaluative praise is using words like Good, Excellent, Super, Tremendous, Fantastic, Superb, etc. Evaluative praise limits your child. Being terrific feels good at first, but it's nearly impossible to maintain. 

According to Daily.jstor.org, "Studies show that feedback is a necessary component in a child's sense of self-worth. But they don't seem to need praise in order to thrive. Feedback is specific from praise. It engages with a child's effort instead of passing a value on them.

Praising should be in a natural voice, speak the truth (if you don't believe it yourself, they won't believe you), and use positive encouragement.

Praising nurtures your children and helps improve their self-confidence and sense of self. You are showing your children how to think and talk positively about themselves and of others when you praise them effectively. 

Our goal as parents it to raise our children to have confidence in themselves and give them the satisfaction they deserve as they mature.