Adapting Your Parenting to Fit Your Child.

     As I reflect on the sections of each of these, I really enjoyed the quote by Elder Marion G Romney said, "Without self-reliance, one cannot exercise these innate desires to serve. How can we give if there is nothing there? Food for the hungry cannot come from empty shelves. Money to assist the needy cannot come from an empty purse. Support and understanding cannot come from the emotionally starved. Teaching cannot come from the unlearned. And most important of all, spiritual guidance cannot come from the spiritually weak." 

     As I think about this quote, it really brings into perspective how important it is to take care of ourselves. When we can allow ourselves to be available emotionally to be able to adequately parent our children. As we go through our daily activities with our children and face the never-ending challenges of raising our children, we can learn to be able to adapt our parenting style to fit our children. 

    Each child is unique in their personality, how they respond to things around them, and how they learn. As they grow, we must always be willing to adapt to what our children need throughout their different stages of development. 

     It is necessary to know what development is, why it takes place, and what it means for you as a parent. First, children are changing both emotionally and physically throughout their development. These changes also involve how they think, feel, what they are capable of, what they think of themselves, and how they relate to those around them (including you as a parent). Second, their stages of development are predictable. This helps a parent to know what to anticipate as a child matures. It is important however to know what happens with children throughout their development as an infant, toddlers, and even up to their adolescents. If you wait til problems arise, you won't be prepared for how to handle situations. Third, It is important to remember that you as a parent, nor the child can control at what pace the child will psychologically develop, nor the nature of their development. Fourth, the forces that are changing your child for the better also contribute to the challenges you will face as a parent. 

    Examples of this are your toddler refusing to do something, and telling you no constantly is the same drive that they will have to learn to potty train. Another example is your teenager learning how to stand up for themselves to their friends is the same action when they learn to stand against you. If you can learn what drives your child, whether it is positive or negative emotions, you can help to understand how to parent your child. Parents must be willing to adapt their parenting to fit their children. Here are a few tips: 

•  A wary child can't help being wary, nor can an active child help from being active or a fearful one help being fearful Their temperament is not under their control. 
•  Don't try to refashion your child's disposition. Your child's temperament doesn't need to be broken, they are who they are. Just try to adapt to their nature. 
•  If your child is rather difficult, allow extra time to figure out the situation they are in. Examples are adapting to new surroundings, schools, teachers, children, dentists, doctor visits, etc. 
• Allow them to learn to be comfortable in new situations.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

     Another important thing to remember is YOUR CHILD IS UNIQUE! Even those raised in the same household. Each child should be treated as an individual and not a collection of the entire family. Disciplining or praising all children the same will not result in the same responses from each child. They all have a unique way of hearing what you say to them. 

As you learn to adapt to your children, just remember, you must always be willing to change your role as you parent your child and as they grow. Don't fight that your role in your child's life is shifting, their needs are changing just as yours are. If you don't adapt, they will move on without you. 

Don't force a child to slow down in their emotional development. They want to grow up. Let your role as a parent adapt and change as they grow. Share experiences with them, and make decisions with them as opposed to for them.

Information in this post can be found in Laurence Steinberg, PhD's book called "The 10 Basic Principles of Good parenting". This is an excellent source to assist you in parenting your children effectively.  It can be purchased on amazon at the following link. https://a.co/d/4X0Z9bQ